A milestone

I've officially made it into the 8th week of pregnancy. I still have morning sickness on a daily basis, and I've thrown up 3 more times since "my first puke." (Real pukes, not toothbrush-induced ones).

This is a milestone for us because my last 2 pregnancies ended a day before my 8th week. And this was the first time we actually got to read "week 8" in our pregnancy book.

Christmas Brunch 2009

Annual Christmas Brunch at the Grand Geneva Resort, Lake Geneva, WI.



2008 Brunch picture

My grandma tipped the waitress at the beginning and the champagne just kept on flowing, so at the end we had a couple of inebriated family members! But brunch was great this year, I felt good enough to eat (I had a taste for a big salad with ranch dressing), and because we had a late brunch time we got to linger over our meal. Unfortunately I threw up my brunch later that night.

Upstairs Bathroom Before & After

Here's a final picture of the before and after of the upstairs bathroom "Botox" job -- i.e. not a full on facelift, but just needed some sprucing.

We re-painted, new tile floor, new solid surface counter & sink & fixtures, painted the existing cabinet, new toilet ...

Before (from previous owners)

After

Lights, ornaments, star ... cat

This is Guinness in the Christmas Tree.

Earlier this week, I saw him run with glee and leap into the tree and lay on one of the fake tree branches (3 branches up, not one of the lower ones).

How the tree didn't topple over is a Christmas miracle!

7w ultrasound, great 1st appointment

Our 1st appointment went great this morning!!

Matt couldn't sleep all night; funny, I never have that problem. My only concern was the blood test because I knew they would take a few vials (more than my quick HcG test). I read somewhere that you can decline any of these tests. Sure. Try it. They might as well have a sign that says, "You're getting the tests. Now shut up you big baby." In actuality it wasn't bad at all (it was so much worse in my imagination).

Anyway, after getting all of my history and testing me for STDs I sure hope I don't have, I got my ultrasound and Caligula was right there measuring on target with a fluttering heartbeat. We just sat there watching the screen, breathing deeply. Everyone probably thinks we're the most sedate couple ever (like Mike Vol.taggio when he won Top C.hef, "I'm feeling every emotion there is," says the stone face winner), but we've had so much loss, we don't know what to do with ourselves.So I'll go back in 2 weeks for another u/s (a peace of mind exam) and then another appointment at 11w.

My first puke

This morning after I flung my progesterone wrapper, hoping it would land on the nightstand, Matt told me, "You have to throw those away. Guinness is playing with them, he's gonna grow boo.bs."

This has been a long week. Tomorrow morning is my official new OB appointment where I learn everything about the practice, costs, hospital, get another u/s, physical, and if I let them, more blood tests. My spotting has finally tapered off, so that has been another thing on my mind. But the main reason for the long week is this $#@& morning sickness.

I can't find any relief and I told Matt last night that I could just scream from the frustration of it all. He told me that I hide my frustration well (that was after he told me that I was the happiest person he knows -- which was after I said that I think I suffer from depression.)

I'm sick pretty much all day - maybe a few times of relief, few and fleeting moments they are. I told Matt that if I didn't know I was pregnant, I'd be at the gastro-interologist screaming, "Something is wrong with me, help!"

Meals are the worst time because I'm used to cooking and dictating what we eat, but I have no appetite. The thought of food makes me sick. One night for dinner we went to the store to see what would look appetizing to me ... the winner was Chef Boyardee ravioli in a can. Apparently I'm craving toxins. Matt said NO, and we settled on Buitini ravioli with pasta sauce. I was still happy.

The next night I needed a sausage McMuffin with egg, except they don't make them at night. So Matt went the next morning and needed to ask where a McD's was (I can't even remember the last time I was in a McD).

My mom told me, "Oh no, this baby's a junk food eater." Great.

So this morning I woke up sick as usual trying to nibble on crackers in bed which didn't help. We decided to get out of house a while (fresh air) and as I was brushing my teeth (surprise) the retching set in and I spent 5 minutes over the toilet before I barfed twice. Mini was at the door standing guard as Matt listened outside with a smile on his face.

My first official puke @6w6d.

Morning sickness

The other times, I have gotten pregnant I would pray for morning sickness. I heard that the presence of morning sickness (while not all women get it) is a good sign of a progressing pregnancy. When I wouldn’t get it everyone would say, “Maybe you just won’t have it?” I answered, “No, I’m not that lucky.”

Well, I have it.

The part of me that can function clearly is happy; the part of me that wants to bend over a toilet and dry heave is not.

I’m not puking, just as nauseous as a passenger on Captain Ahab’s boat. I feel like puking would relieve me and for that reason, my body’s not complying. Instead I belch like a frat boy and I’m scaring Matt away (or making him proud, I can’t tell sometimes). I’ve tried gagging on my toothbrush – which isn’t hard to do since brushing my teeth in general these past couple days have induced me to gag, sending Matt running down the stairs, “Are you okay, what was that noise?”

It’s now 11:30 a.m. (this was Tuesday) I’m sitting at my desk about to fall over from fatigue, shivering from cold, and sick to my stomach. I'm still spotting but it's this m/s that's keeping me thinking things are still okay.

Love is...

... a husband who folds your underwear.

We have a heartbeat @ 6 weeks!

You're prayers and thoughts worked! I'm still in shock! Here's the story:

So I went to the office this morning at 8 a.m. -- while they can put me on hold on the phone, they can't ignore a crazy lady standing in front of them. Turns out the doctor I called over the weekend was in a different location, but once they gave him my info he said for me to come at 9:20 a.m. Yes!

In the ultrasound room with the nurse, I started to bawl. I just couldn't take this anymore and resolved and told Matt that if this doesn't work, I'm done. I cannot physically and emotionally go through this again. I've never cried at the doctor's, I always reserve that for when I'm alone. I get that stoicism from my dad.

So the doctor came in, he was going to do the ultrasound. When the tech does it, she doesn't let you see anything until she knows it's good news; however, the doctor made Matt move to the other side of the room so he could see and turned the monitor towards us.

"Well, you're pregnant," he said. Duh, I'm thinking to myself. Then he goes, "And there's the heart beating." If I wasn't already lying down, I would have fallen down. Matt squeezed my arm as we saw this fluttering movement on the screen. The gestational sac, the yolk sac, and the fetal pole were all visible. I measured 6w1d and the heartbeat, which we got to hear, was 116bpm. It was amazing.There's very tiny Caligula hanging out.
(We nickname all of them, and this time felt something less cute was appropriate - ha ha)

He showed us so much -- my closed cervix, the 2 small subchrionic hematomas I have that could bleed out (but they were small), my very large right ovary that's doing all the work -- and said that everything is looking just right. Why was I bleeding? Who knows, many women do.

He told me to take 800mg more of folic acid and a baby aspirin - that they couldn't hurt me and can only help.

I'm just so relieved and happy; we've never seen anything like this before. I'm still in disbelief.

Please cross you fingers for us

If this pregnancy lasts, there may be a lot of these. I don't want to be Peter calling Wolf but I'm scared.

I've been spotting all weekend; it started Friday night when my progesterone leakage (the suppositories leak out, sorry for the lovely visual image) was darker than the normal clear/yellow. When I woke at 4:30 a.m. to go to the bathroom, I had some red blood on my pantyliner. We were in Lake Geneva at the time, so we quickly left so I could call the doctor. On the 1-hour trip home I was waiting to cramp up but it never happened. The rest of my spotting for the weekend has been brown (mostly it's my progesterone leakage tinged brown).

The doctor on call suggested I try and get squeezed in for an appointment tomorrow (even though I have an ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday). I was hoping today the spotting would stop and that maybe I irritated my cervix but it hasn't. My miscarriages have all started with the brown spotting that would last days, sometimes 1-2 weeks, before turning red.

My only consolation at this point is that I'm not cramping, and I still have all my pregnancy symptoms.

So please think of us tomorrow, I'm hoping for an ultrasound to confirm that everything is okay.

Thanksgiving

My mom hosted Thanksgiving this year, which I realized was her first time ever to make the official turkey, and it was GOOD. Needless to say, the table was plentiful and everyone complained that there was too much food. At least I didn't contribute to that because I was supposed to make 6 dishes and I ended up only doing 4 -- cranberry sauce (à la Dore Greenspan); Lentil salad with walnuts, pomegranates, and celery; maple butternut squash soup; and apple cider donut bread pudding.