1st u/s visit, 5w

I called this morning to schedule my first u/s, and they had an 11AM appointment that I scooped right up. And they even managed to squeeze in the doctor afterward. Matt was at work so I brought my mom along (no convincing needed, she was there before I finished my sentence).

So ... we have a yolk sac!!!!!

That's my uterus! The large black thing is the gestational sac.
The small thing I circles is the yolk sac.

Last month when I went for an u/s, we only saw a gestational sac (that was measuring 5.5w - 1 week behind schedule) and nothing was inside, although we should have seen a yolk sac.

This time, we saw it clearly and the tech was super happy for me (same girl I had last time); I asked, "We didn't see that last time did we?" And she said, "Nope. This is good. This is exactly what we should be seeing at 5weeks." And the doctor confirmed that I am measuring exactly where I should be, even though this is still painfully early.

She said she wants to have me come back for my official OB visit at 7weeks, but that if I wanted another u/s next week, I can get squeezed in. I think I'll go. Who doesn't love the trans-vaginal ultrasound?

I won!

Matt's family plays this game called Silly Underdogs from one of the Nashville radio stations. You pick 3 underdogs who you believe will win their football game and if you guess right, you get points. This is like our 5th year playing, I'm usually last place.


This year I had a different strategy, picking schools that started with ABC, BIG, DUM... you get the picture. This week I picked HCG because that's been on my mind. Hawaii, Georgia, and NC State (because there was no school that started with C). And guess what ... I won! Out of all the people who played this week I got the most points. This is insane because I probably take this the least seriously of anyone -- I mean, look at my tie breaker score: 5-2, I don't think those are even possible in football? Matt and I couldn't stop laughing all morning.

Matt said, "Look, this baby is bringing us luck already!"

Now look what I won -- a tailgate party for 10 people! Now I wonder if they could ship that food up here?

HcG values and websites

I found this website where you can punch in your beta #s and see a chart.

Because I miscarried last month, I'm not 100% sure how far along I am. The only thing I know for sure is that I have a 3-day window in which we could have conceived and so I could have been either 16, 17 or 18 dpo when I took my last beta. The chart above is for 18dpo which puts me slightly higher than the average high (if I did 16dpo, I would have been way high). So I could conceivably be 5weeks today.

Another website, betabase.info, tells you how fast you are doubling. It's all good info for the paranoid person, like me, to mull over 12 hours a day.

I need to stop thinking about all this ... is it normal to have this consume my existence?

Lighting the Tree

After the good test results, we felt like some holiday cheer, so Matt and I went to see Santa light the tree in Glen Ellyn. The fire truck helps hoist Santa up high while everyone cheers down below. Music plays as he lights the tree marking the start of the holiday season.

We were hoping Sanata would dive into the crowd, but, eh, you can't get everything you want ;)

Afterwards, all the shops are open handing out cookies and hot cocoa, carolers are singing, and a living nativity scene (with barn animals) is... well, living. Kids were out, everyone was happy. It was a nice night.

3rd HcG test - 1710!

I called the doctor for my 3rd beta test results from Wednesday and they are 1710! So they more than doubled from Monday, which was 681.

My progesterone count remained about the same, 15.6, up from 15.1 last Friday. But my doctor did not seem concerned as I am on the progesterone supplements. Anything above 15 is good for pregnancy, she said. Nevertheless, I wish it had risen significantly. She was more concerned with my HcG count doubling.

But the other good news is that with my beta count so high, I can schedule an ultrasound for next week (5weeks) instead of waiting until 6weeks.

Please continue to keep me in your thoughts!

Thankful

I got my blood drawn again tonight and when I left I threw my arms up and cried, "I have a four day weekend from this all!"

I don't like to get my blood drawn. ---- It's a production: Matt has to come with me. I have to become BFFs** with the phlebotomist. I stand around getting my arms warmed up. Then I close my eyes, tap my feet, and have an out of body experience. (Seriously, I've achieved meditation status that gurus dream of.) Then I leave holding my arm, coatless into the frigid night air.

As tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I am thankful to be done beta testing for now. I am thankful I have a super supportive husband to hold my hand and bring me my progesterone suppositories in the morning. I'm thankful to be pregnant again. I'm thankful tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I have family to share it with (and listen to my pregnancy stories so far).

Happy Thanksgiving!

** BFF: Best Friends Forever - and I'm serious. When my last phlebotomist Cheryl told me she was leaving, we were both so sad (well, I was) and we had to hug.

2nd Beta test - 681

The results of my 2nd beta (HcG count) is 681 @ 4weeks exactly. (They are going to go by the day I miscarried as my LMP*).

HcG is supposed to double every 48 hours in early pregnancy. At this rate, I am doubling every 32.5 hours, so I am very happy. However, I had tripling numbers last time and 1 week later the gestational sac stopped growing.

I had to request another blood test tomorrow to ensure continued increase, as well as get another progesterone count. I don't want to have to battle the nurses every time they call, but I'd like to see more urgency. For instance, she told me" numbers are good, come in at 8 weeks." I had to remind her that I have never gotten past 8 weeks... ugh.

Also, I just added a sidebar of our TTC** Timeline in case anyone (the 3 people who read my blog:-) are interested.

*LMP: Last menstrual period
**TTC: Trying to Conceive

Surprise!

This was as much a shock to me as it was to Matt...

I guess it is possible to get pregnant between the time you miscarry and your next period ... if you're not careful. We're very happy, but we're being very cautious. I am only posting this on my blog because I told myself that since I started posting about my most recent miscarriage, the cat's out of the bag and I'd like to continue to be open about this.

In fact, I feel so much better already knowing I don't have to keep this a secret.

These home pregnancy test were taken last Friday morning when I was -- as far as I know -- 3w4d along (or 11dpo**). Very early indeed. That same day I started on my progesterone supplements and got my first quants*** done.

Results -- 147 HcG -- 15.1 progesterone

I went for my second bloodwork tonight (Monday - 4w or 14dpo); please cross fingers, toes, eyes that they are going up, up, up!


**dpo: days past ovulation
*** quants: quantitative tests, include counting the amount of HcG in your blood which should double every 48 hours.

Is there a place for gold-plated babies?

I watched this show on We called Platinum Babies. Have you seen it? It's kind of like TLC's A Baby Story except ... you don't see the actual delivery and the people are rich and better looking.

I watched 2 episodes back-to-back -- 1 was a older man/younger woman situation in CA; the other were Eco-snobs in NYC.

I learned that it sucks to be the average person. When you have money, the hospital staff pretty much bend down and kiss your $@^ every step of the way. You get the best rooms, the best Post-partum room, and the nicest nurses, and the best equipment. "It was like a hotel," she cooed, "I didn't want to go home."

Here's was something else I learned. After you have the baby, your husband should surprise you with a Push Present. "Thanks to my young hot wife for pushing my baby out! Here's some bling." GAG. I don't need to be "bought" - how about being a super supportive husband, both emotionally and physically, through it all.

Finally I learned that people who have money don't go to the Park District (like me!). The NYC couple belonged to this posh place, like a spa/health club that also had an organic cafe and kids areas. I have to admit that I was pretty "eco" green with envy; if only I had a spare $3600 lying around?

Will I be watching this again? Nah. I need to see real people.

Toxins … everywhere

I was reading one of my library books on how to have a greener, safer home. Sometimes, I wonder if it's not better to stop reading and live my life, toxins, cancer-causing agents, and all?

• Parabens in my shampoo and soaps … these mimic estrogen and can cause cancer
• Triclosan in toothpastes … this is an antibacterial substance

Determined to be as "au natural" as possible, I've switched to Tom's of Maine toothpaste (I had a free sample to get me started – basically tastes like baking soda rather than fresh minti-ness), and I checked all my soaps for parabens so now I'm only using paraben-free stuff. Anything else I need to worry about?

Calling all "Cook's"

Last night, my mom and I went to a book signing/talk of the executive editor of Cook's Illustrated, Jack Bishop.

You've probably seen this magazine at the check-out line of Whole Foods; it's the one with no photos in it, the one that looks like it's made for people who really want to learn how to cook. My mom's a subscriber, and one of their gazillion "real-people" testers**, so we had to go see him. I, of course, have no idea who he is, but I like Barbara's Bookstore and my mom needed a driver, so I was recruited.

Actually, it was fun and he gave some great anecdotes about recipe testing, the rigueur it goes through before it makes it into the magazine (or on the TV show). One of the funniest things was when he read reviews of recipes from some "real-people" testers. Everyone knows that cook's change recipes, or use different ingredients, so he read these comment cards where someone changed almost everything about the recipe and then declares, "It was delicious!"

**real-people testers – you can sign up on their website to test recipes. When they have a recipe to test (after it's gone through all their shenanigans), they email it out to 2,000 people looking for feedback. Sound like fun?

Unforgetable quotes

"What are you? Half man half woman?"
--my dad, when I was at their house helping mulch leaves yesterday with the blower.

A year ago today

I found out I was pregnant for the first time. It was Matt's birthday gift. His parents were visiting us that weekend so we were sneaking around taking the pregnancy test, sleeping in the spare bedroom, whispering about the house, smiling whenever we looked at each other. It was all very funny and endearing as I look back on it. The due date would have been this past July ... I hated July this year.

A Birthday for Matt

Matt's 36!!Hiya Sexy!

We did everything Matt wanted to do ... Friday night we had dinner at his favorite restaurant Adelle's. Saturday morning, we woke up at 7 a.m. and went for a 3 mile power walk (Matt had a hard time keeping up with my Olympic speed walking), followed by breakfast at his favorite b-fast spot Honey. After that, Matt balanced our very overdue checkbook (5 months worth - and yes, this was something he wanted to do on his birthday!). Then we went to see Paranormal Activity at the York, before heading to my mom's for my brother's birthday party. (note: my brother, my dad and my husband are all born on practically the same date!)

Birthday Party pictures: click here.

Matt and my brother both got cake and presents last night.

Uncomfortable on the Train

Last night on the way home from work, I unintentionally sat next to a very pregnant woman on the train. When I looked over and saw her protruding belly, my heart sank. Are pregnant people coming out of the woodwork on purpose to taunt me? As I was trying to concentrate on my book, she kept rubbing her belly.

I realized then and there that I could go on hating all people who are fertile, or I can (as Matt and I have discussed) paint a different picture. Maybe that person is pregnant after years of trying, after many miscarriages, after medical assistance. I have no idea what their story is, and maybe it's one of hope.

So as I watched her rub her belly because she had no where else to put her arm, shift her weight forwards and back trying to get in a comfortable position, legs looking somewhat swollen, I wasn't too sure if I was envious of her.

Churrrrros! @ Xoco

Last Saturday we woke up and decided we needed to grab breakfast in the not-so-usual spot (our favorite cafe a stone's throw from our house where they all know us).

We decided on Nola's Cup, an Oak Park corner joint that we've gone to a few times (but would be there constantly if we lived in the area). We love their beignets and pain perdu, and they always made excellent coffee. As we approached the corner, the place was closed, a for sale sign in front (I found out they closed over the summer). What could wipe the frown off our faces?

We jumped back on the expressway and headed downtown to Xoco -- Rick Bayless' new place (yes, we did just go to Topolobampo a week before, but who could resist more Mexican food... for breakfast). There was no traffic there and we lucked out with parking a block away -- so we decided we need to come here every Saturday! There was also no line, and a few open places to sit (we arrived about 9:30 a.m.); we sat a long the wall at the high bar.



Matt and I have different styles when we go to a new place. I like to order a lot (to try everything in case we can't go back or it closes), Matt likes to wait for me to order something for myself and then says, "Let's split that." It drives me up a wall (in that "good, we've been married for 6 years" way) so then I counter-act it with, "Let's try this too." And what we end up ordering is just the perfect amount. (We balance each other out).

So when I ordered my poblano empanada and he wanted to split it -- I added in the breakfast torta (and good thing because they were on the smaller side). In the end we ordered: poblano empanada, breakfast torta, churros, and 2 Aztec hot chocolates.
The churros came out first, along with the hot chocolate. The HC was spicy at first but then mellowed, and the churros were fried perfection, sweet and cinnamon-y. I dipped them in the HC and the crispy outside sucked in the HC as if they were meant to be together. We went back for another order to-go.


Then came the savories. The empanada filling and pastry was delicious ( I haven't had an empanada since I was in Buenos Aires in 2000). Savory and spicy all together in a cute package that was easy to eat. The torta was a little less successful to eat, only because it was on this huge piece of bread, covered with jalapeno (hot!), salsa, beans, and a poached egg. When the egg broke, it was really delicious but messy; we didn't realize there were utensils on the counter, so we tried to eat this with our hands. The very refined gentleman to my right probably thought we were crazy slobs.



Neither item was very large, and while Matt and I left happy (with our to-go of churros), I could have eaten more (like I want my own empanada next time, Matt, no more splitting). Next time I also want to try the almond hot chocolate and go for lunch to try and soups and sandwiches.

Anyone want to join us?

Bathroom countertop ordered

UPDATE: This never gets easier does it? My dad came over this morning to check the plumbing (before we install countertop). He wants to A) remove the wall to check out the insulation (we had these pipes freeze last year), and B) put in a new floor. This can't all happen before Friday morning, so we'll have to make the counter people do a semi-install, so we can remove the cabinet to put in a new floor... sigh.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Next March, we will celebrate 5 years in our home. When we first moved in, I secretly had my 5-year plan for the house, hoping to get all the interior remodeled in 5 years. We're almost there!

Back in the upstairs bathroom, we were still in need of a countertop. We were going to make do with the existing one but ... we already bought a new sink and the counter looks bad since we never covered it during any of the remodel.

So we found a local place that sells remnants for not just granite, but also quartz and we selected our bathroom countertop for $400 cheaper than our original quote for non-remnant. It should get installed next weekend around Matt's birthday! The only goofy thing with remnants is that you have to go looking through pieces for the right size and color, and then tagging it with your name (and they are big and can't really be moved).

Bathroom so far

In the meanwhile, we got a new shower curtain and rod (a curved one like at the Westin Hotels I used to stay at when traveling, it gives you like 6 inches more room, it feels so spacious), a new towel holder, and I got some photos of mine framed and hung.

While we're waiting for the counter, I'm hoping we can get our new doors and trim, and then we'll be D-O-N-E.